


Loss Of A Friend

by yummycrummy



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Animal Death, Bittersweet Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28229361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yummycrummy/pseuds/yummycrummy
Summary: A tragedy happens in the forest one day...
Relationships: Engineer/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Heavy/Medic (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28





	1. Finding Out

It was a moderately gloomy day at the RED base. Ceasefire had just started for the week and most of the RED's were staying inside for the time being. Pyro had gladly made PBJ sandwiches for everyone for lunch, (except for Heavy who just made his own). They all huddled together in the living room to watch the movie, Dr. Strangelove, Scout's request. 

During halfway into the intro, Medic brought in some popcorn he had made. He placed the big bowl in the center and sat down beside Heavy, cuddling close to his side while wrapping his arm around his own. 

Scout kept his eyes glued to the screen, tossing the crunchy kernels into his mouth without looking away, missing a few that tried to land in his mouth and falling to the floor instead. 

Engineer sat beside Demo, who was nursing his bottle of alcohol for the sake of staying awake with his team. Engie felt distracted somewhat. He felt like someone was missing. He looked around, breaking his gaze away from the screen to see that Soldier hadn't joined them. In fact, he realized he hadn't seen him nearly all day. 

"Somethin' on ye mind?" Demo asked him softly, not wanting to speak over the movie. 

Engineer nodded. "Yeah. Solly ain't here. Ya seen him?" 

Shaking his head, Demo took a small sip of his drink before saying, "Nah. I think the last time I saw him he was goin' outside with Bites. I dunno where though." 

"Hm.." Engie pondered over this fact with a stern frown. "I'm gonna go find him." He stated quietly, getting up from the couch. 

"Alright lad." Demo said, turning his eye back to the glowing screen of the television. "Good luck." 

"Thanks, partner." With that, Engie made his exit, slowly closing the door to the room as he entered the kitchen. The back door would lead to the outside, so that's where he would look first. 

Grabbing his jacket and slipping it on, Engie stepped outside into the rain, adjusting his goggles over his eyes as he strained to see through the fog. He walked around the side of the building, the sanctuary where Soldier kept Lt. Bites' food supply. He was surprised to find it empty. The little critter wasn't even snacking on his food. 

Engineer frowned deeper at this. Soldier wasn't around. His pet wasn't either. Where could they have gone? 

The next place he decided to check was their dormitories. Engie headed for Soldier's at a rather fast pace, his worry causing him to hurry. He knocked on the wooden door with his gloved hand, the sound causing the wood frame to make a metallic sound as it reverberated against the door. 

"Soldier? You in there?" He called through the door cautiously. He held his breath, listening for movement, sound, anything, until he heard it. A sob. 

It was faint, but he could hear the light sobbing coming from inside. Without hesitation, Engie opened the door, knowing that he could be the only one who could enter Soldier's room without permission. 

Stepping inside, he closed the door behind him, his face dropping in confusion as he saw Soldier sitting on the ground, his back to him, seemingly to be holding something that Engineer couldn't see. He swallowed. Soldier could get into random fits of unexplained behaviors at times, where he would either break something, or hurt someone as well. Engie knew he would never hurt him, but the way he wasn't even turning around to face him made him uneasy. 

"Solly?" Engie asked a bit nervously, walking forward as he approached his love. He could visibly see Soldier shaking, and he felt his heart twist. "Hey, what's the matter? You alright?" He walked around him to get a better view, and Engie stopped. 

Soldier was cradling a small bundle in his arms, the cloth covered with small droplets of blood. The thing inside wasn't moving, and whatever it was, Engie knew that it was an animal. 

Engineer kneeled down, gently reaching his hand out to touch Soldier's arm. "What happe-" he started to say, before Soldier weakly lifted his head, silencing him in mid question. Tears streamed from Soldier's eyes. He looked utterly heartbroken, for whatever reason Engie didn't know, but he felt his pain as he looked into his eyes. 

"Jane.." Engie uttered, taken by surprise. "What..happened here? What's with the blood? And the blanket?" 

Soldier turned his focus back down, using his hand to gently grab at the edge of the cloth. He wouldn't stop trembling. "L-Lieutenant..B..Bites.." he managed to stutter, his usually loud voice sounding strained and weak, as if he had been crying for hours. "H-He's.." 

Engineer lifted his goggles, wanting to see the full extent of the damage. "Did somethin' happen to him?" He asked, then added with extra caution, "...can I see?" 

Soldier didn't reply, instead tearing the cloth away from the bundle as it revealed the full raccoon's little body. Engineer didn't have to look more. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he carefully wrapped the raccoon back up, being careful to not actually touch him. 

"Can..can ya tell me exactly what happened to him?" Engie asked, wanting to get to the bottom of whatever had harmed the little critter. "I won't be mad at you, if that's what you're thinkin', Jane. Just…" he sighed, cupping Soldier's wet cheek with his flesh palm, gently lifting his head. "Please, tell me." 

Soldier stared at him, his teary eyes causing Engie's heart to break once more. With a struggling voice, Soldier began to explain. "I..I was letting him run around in the forest..for a walk..without his leash on for once since he likes to be free." he let out a weak chuckle, and it hurt Engie's heart. "I-I wasn't paying attention. I forgot there were wolves that lived near the base. I called for Lieutenant Bites to come back to me, but..but he didn't." 

Engineer felt his stomach turn. He didn't like where this was going. "What happened next?" He knew, but he didn't want to think about it. 

Soldier took in a shaky breath, obviously reliving the memory as he lowered his head some more, his helmet obscuring his eyes, but not the tears that still dripped down his cheeks. "I-I was too late. I got the little bastard to get away from him, but...when I saw Bites, he...h-he..he was...o-oh, god!" he suddenly broke, letting out a choked sob as he clutched the bundle that was his pet, crying into the dirty cloth. 

Engineer pulled his saddened lover into an embrace, draping his arm around his back as he felt Soldier clutch onto him, weeping loudly into his shoulder. Engie couldn't help but tear up as well. He shut his eyes, gently rubbing Soldier's back as he tried to comfort him. 

"I-I couldn't save h-him…" Soldier whimpered, shaking his head as he continued to ramble. "I-It's all my fault, I-I couldn't..!"

"Shhh, hush now," Engineer whispered into his ear, shushing him as he lightly cradled him close. "None of this was your fault. You did all you could.."

Soldier shook, Engie's words causing his cries to lessen slightly. He sniffled, burying his face harder against his lover's neck. "D-Dell.." 

"I'm here, Jane." Engie told him, giving his cheek a kiss, before resting his head against his own. "I'm here.." 

The two stayed on the floor for what felt like an eternity. Soldier's crying having fallen into quiet whimpers as Engie held him. The mechanic would occasionally hum to him, or keep reassuring him, and it would work, if only for a few minutes. After a while, Soldier grew exhausted, and he slowly pulled away from Engie, still holding Lt. Bites in his arms. 

Engineer looked his love over with sadness in his eyes. He hated how this had to happen to the little raccoon. He hadn't deserved his death… 

Soldier lovingly petted the cloth covering Lt. Bites' head, sniffling as he kept staring at the deceased raccoon, hoping that if he looked long enough, he would wake up. It was hopeless, but Soldier didn't care. His pet was gone. He felt like he had to do something. 

He felt something soft touch his cheek, wiping his tears away. Soldier looked up, meeting Engie's eyes with his own. Engineer scooted closer to him, reaching up to take Soldier's helmet off. Soldier didn't protest as he felt himself being pulled down, his head resting in Engie's lap as he hugged Lt. Bites closer to his chest. 

Engineer's hand began to stroke his short hair, the action causing Soldier to feel calmer. He felt tired, his eyes feeling heavy. 

"Sleep." Engie's soft voice spoke to him through the sudden dullness he heard. "We'll work this out once ya rest...alright?" 

"...okay." 

Hearing Soldier's reply, Engie managed a small smile. It had sounded so childlike it made him feel even more loved by the man. He was glad he was with him. "Good." 

They sat there for a while. Soldier had fallen asleep, the only sound being his gentle breathing, and Engie's, the other still petting his hair to relax him. Engineer didn't care how long they stayed like this, or that his legs were feeling numb. He just knew he had to stay by Soldier's side. For however long it took.


	2. Concern

The next morning, Soldier awoke. He felt a pressure in his head, making him moan in pain. No doubt that it was from his excessive crying fit yesterday. He had cried, right in front of Engie. Engie. 

Soldier sat up, feeling something soft beneath his hands. He looked down, seeing that he was in his bed. He reached up, patting his head. His helmet was gone. He looked down at himself, seeing that his jacket was also gone, but he was wearing his undershirt, pants and socks. Engineer had undressed him. 

Thinking about Engie again, Soldier looked over to the side of his bed. He saw empty space. Scratching the side of his head, he moved to get up. His throat felt scratchy, and his head still ached. He found his helmet sitting on his nightstand and snatched it up, putting it back over his head. 

The doorknob to his room suddenly turned, and Soldier stilled. He watched as the door opened, and saw Engie enter, carrying a small plate in his hands. 

Noticing that Soldier was awake, Engineer smiled, though it looked a tad weaker than his usual bright and excited one whenever they saw each other. "Oh, you're up. I uh, didn't know if you'd want any breakfast but I got ya some anyway." He said, walking to hand the plate over. 

Soldier looked down at it. Some scrambled eggs and toast with some jam. Engie knew what he liked. The thought made the pain in his heart fade somewhat, and Soldier smiled.

"Thanks, Engie." He said gratefully, taking the plate from him. Sitting down on his bed, he took the utensils that were on the plate and began to eat. Engineer made himself comfortable next to him, putting his hands in his lap as he looked at the many pictures that adorned the walls of Soldier's room. There were rocket launchers of different sizes and colours, and newspaper clippings of military bases and people. 

There were also pictures of Lt. Bites too. Tons of them. Engineer felt himself reminisce about last night, how sad his love had been. He sighed, turning to look at Soldier, who was still eating rambunctiously. 

"Hey, uh, about yesterday.." Engie began, choosing his words carefully. "We gotta figure out what to do with ah, little Bites." 

Soldier stopped his eating abruptly, halting mid chew. Engineer continued. 

"You understand what has to be done, don't ya?" Engie said. "It won't be easy, but it's for the little guy." 

Soldier swallowed with some difficulty, feeling a tight knot well in his throat at Engie's words. He placed his plate aside, not feeling hungry anymore. "He's fine." 

Engineer glanced at him quickly from his response. "What?" 

Soldier turned to face him, his expression hardened. "Lieutenant Bites is fine. He's just sleeping. What happened yesterday wasn't real, I only dreamed it!" He said, feigning stubbornness as he crossed his arms. "He's okay." 

He's in shock, Engineer thought at once, making his earlier worries rush back in full force. Of course he is, his pet raccoon just died. Why wouldn't he be? 

I'm going to have to let him process this slowly. 

"Uh, well, I took the liberty of takin' him outside. The rain let up today so I thought I'd put him in his house." Engineer said, motioning with his hand of the hidey hole that Lt. Bites liked to go through. In truth, he had placed the bundle in his sanctuary, until the team gave him a proper burial. With the way Soldier was feeling, it would take a while.

"Oh, good." Soldier said after a brief pause. "I'll make sure he gets plenty of food today! He needs it after his walk. After all, he worked up a real american appetite!" With a hearty laugh, he grabbed his plate and hurried to the door. "Bye, Engie!" 

Watching the door slam behind him, Engineer stared at the closed door in silence. He then buried his face in his hands and began to cry. 

/////

The morning was quiet, save for the occasional bird squawks of the crows in the trees of the forest that lined the base. Inside, Engineer was in Medic's lab, telling him what had transpired the day before, and what the situation was now.

"He is not takin' it well. I mean, when he woke up, he was just...he's actin' like the little guy is still alive." Engie ran a hand over his head as he heaved another sigh for what felt like the millionth time that day. "I'm scared for him, honestly. He hasn't had a breakdown like this since..well, in a long time." 

Medic nodded with understanding. He had seen many people go through the same thing as Soldier during his time as a doctor. (Or a past one, anyway) 

"It's perfectly normal to feel that way," Medic began, clasping his gloved hands over each other as he addressed Engie. "Do you think his PTSD has gotten worse since the death?" 

"I'm not sure exactly. I hope not." Engineer looked out the window off to the side into the blue sky, thinking of his love. He turned back to Medic. "What do ya think I should do? If..if I explain to him that Bites is dead for real, he could get worse, won't he?" 

Medic shook his head. "That isn't always the case. You should just give Soldier some time to take it in. Death of a pet isn't a easy thing for anyone to go through. I think we both know that." 

Engineer nodded, remembering his own past with his fair share of animals he had back home. "Yeah, of course. I'll just make sure he doesn't do anythin' drastic." 

"Thats all you can do right now, mein freund."  
Medic said simply. "If you need more help, I'm around." 

"Thanks, doc. I appreciate it." Engie tilted his hat in farewell, giving the doctor a wave as he turned to go. "I'll go check up on him right now. Seeya." 

"Auf wiedersehen." (Goodbye) Medic called after him as he closed the door. 

////

Outside, Soldier was in the little sanctuary he had made for Bites. He was currently pouring many bags of raccoon food in the bowls he had placed around. Unbeknownst to him, he didn't notice Demoman and Sniper approaching him, looking concerned. Engineer had given them the news before going to see Medic, and to be very cautious about going into detail about Bites' death. 

"Hey, Solly." Demo began as he leaned on the fence in a slouch. "Everythin' doin' ok?" 

"Yes, why wouldn't everything not be ok?" Soldier hastily replied back, not looking up from his consistent food pouring. 

Demo and Sniper exchanged looks, before Sniper cautiously spoke up. "Well...we heard what happened. We just wanted to see if you were ok, mate." 

Soldier sniffed. "I'm fine. Go away." 

Demo furrowed his brow, trying to not get angry at his friend. "C'mon lad, we're just concerned for ya. We care. Ya know we'll be here for ya, ye know that right?" 

"I know. I just want you to leave me alone. I'm busy right now, can't you see?" Soldier snapped as he looked up, his helmet covering his eyes, but not the glare it intensified as it hit the two mercs. In a quieter voice, he muttered, "Just..leave me alone. Please." 

For a while, no one spoke. Soldier went back to his animal duties, now choosing to clean the toys that Lt. Bites played with. Demo and Sniper sadly watched him, before looking to each other once more, then left in silence. 

Once the two had left, Soldier threw the cloth he had been using down, his knees hitting the dirt floor as he ground his teeth and clenched his fists. He felt so pissed at them, he didn't know why. He knew they were only concerned and wanted to help him, and that only increased his rage. 

Slowly, it began to melt away, the feeling of guilt instead ripping its way into his mind. Ignoring the feeling, he grabbed the rag that lay beside him and stood up. Dirt clung to his pants as he trudged over to one of Lt. Bites toys. A stuffed giraffe. Soldier stared down at it from under his helmet. He reached down, picking it up, holding it in his hands. 

He remembered giving it to Bites when he had been smaller. It used to be so big next to him. So plush and soft, just like his fur. Soldier felt tears sting his eyes at the thought. He sat down in the dirt, cradling the toy close as he huddled in close to himself. 

The crows continued to squawk in the distance.


	3. Idea

The next few days were quiet. Ceasefire was beginning to reach its end as both teams were getting ready to fight again. (For no reason) 

Engineer had checked up on Soldier every night, wanting to make sure that he was alright. A few times, he found the man sitting outside, holding the wrapped bundle of Lt. Bites in his arms and staring up at the night sky. Engie noticed that he wrapped the little guy in fresh blankets whenever it got too dirty. It was sweet, but also very gross, considering the state the poor raccoon was in. 

It was starting to stink. Everyone tried not to protest but they couldn't ignore the smell that wafted from the deceased raccoon whenever Soldier brought him inside to wash him. He still thought he was alive, and that hurt Engie the most. He wanted to tell Solly to let go, but...he didn't have it in him. Yet. 

On one particular rainy evening, Engie was approached by Heavy after dinner in the kitchen. He spoke to Engineer with a softer voice than usual. "You need to tell Soldier soon. He cannot keep little Bites around base. Is not healthy for him." 

"I know big guy, believe me, I want to, but I just can't." Engie said sadly, in the middle of washing the dishes. "It'll break his heart even more." 

"I know you care." Heavy said solemnly, pausing for a moment before speaking again. "Doctor..has dealt with this before too. With small bird. It died while he was experimenting and thing went wrong. Bird got injured badly." 

Engineer stopped cleaning the plates and dried his hand on a dishtowel, turning to Heavy. "Aw man, really? Did he keep it around for a long time too?" 

Heavy nodded. "Da. For almost a month." 

"A month? Christ." Engie shook his head. "Understandable though. He managed to get over it eventually, yeah?" 

"Yes. I gave him advice and he learned to heal. Bird's death was not his fault. Sometimes things go wrong." Heavy turned to leave, but stopped before the exit, turning his head slightly. "Soldier needs to learn to heal as well. I know you can do it." 

Engineer smiled at him. "Thanks. I'll do the best I can." 

Smiling back, Heavy left. Engie put the now clean dishes away, made sure everything was nice and tidy before heading off for his workshop.

He exited out back, Lt. Bites' sanctuary coming into view as he walked past it. Stopping, he looked at the still full bowls that were scattered around the fenced pen. He could see the bundle inside the little house he had built for Bites way back. Engie felt an idea strike him. Maybe they didn't have to bury Lt. Bites. Perhaps there was another way for him to still be with Soldier. 

Engineer quickly went back inside, wanting to find Soldier first before letting his idea go into action. He wasn't going to do anything to Bites without his love's permission. 

Engie knocked on the door slowly, steadying himself so he wouldn't be so forceful. He heard Soldier say something from inside, presumably a 'come in', but it sounded more like a mumble. He went inside, softly shutting the door closed. 

Soldier sat on his bed, in the middle of cleaning his shotgun. He lowered his cleaning rag when he saw Engineer come to his bedside. He placed his gun under his bed and instead placed his hands in his lap, looking down at the ground. 

"Hey darlin', ya mind if I talk to ya about something?" Engie asked after a small silence. "It's regarding little Bites." 

"What is it?" Soldier turned his head sharply to him. "You're not gonna..take him away, are you?" 

Engineer shook his head immediately. "No, no, course not. I'd never take him away from you, Solly. Listen, uh…" he scratched the back of his neck. "You need to come to the realization that...that he's dead. You weren't dreamin' the whole thing. You cried to me only a few days ago, tellin' me the whole story. You know that, right?" 

Soldier stared at him with a pained expression on his face. His helmet was sitting on his nightstand, so Engie could actually see his expressions better. It only served to make him feel even more hurt since he was telling him what he needed to know. 

"I do. I just...I just thought that if I'd pretend he was ok, then..maybe I'd be, too." Soldier turned his gaze away, rubbing his arm self consciously. 

"Oh, Sol.." Engie said quietly, lifting a hand to touch his shoulder. He moved in close to his side, giving him a hug. "I'm sorry that this happened. I wish respawn worked on animals. Ya didn't deserve this." 

"Bites didn't either." Soldier muttered, willing himself not to break down again as he closed his eyes. "I just miss him so much..Engie.." 

"I know you do. That's exactly the reason why I wanted to talk to you." Engineer rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. "Y'see, I got this idea. You don't have to go through with it if ya don't want to, but it would make sure that Bites would always stay with ya." 

Soldier looked at him curiously. "What?" 

"Well firstly, we'll have to clean the little fella up a bit. He's been makin' the base stink for about a week now. And next, I wanna get him stuffed. You ok with that?" 

The thought of having Lt. Bites as a stuffed animal was a bit strange, but Soldier remembered his little giraffe toy. It would sort of be like the same thing, wouldn't it? It wouldn't hurt to try. "Yeah, let's do it." 

Engie smiled. "Alright. C'mon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Managed to do another chapter!!! It is currently almost 3 in the morning so gnight


	4. A new little member

Engineer, with Soldier's permission, had gotten Lt. Bites stuffed and properly cleaned up. It had been a bit difficult with Soldier watching him off to the side as he worked, seeing him fidget like a kid who was anxiously waiting for his checkup. 

Once he was all finished, he put a clip onto the end of Bites' open mouth, into one of his sharp fangs so that he could be held without actually touching his fur. Engie handed him over to Soldier, who took the little raccoon with gentle, calloused hands, looking him over like a parent would with their sick child. 

"What's the thingy in his teeth for, Engie?" Soldier asked, pointing to the clip as he caught sight of it. 

"You can hang that part onto your belt. That way, he'll always be with you." Engie told him, feeling his heart lift as he saw Soldier's face lighten up at the idea. He felt like he hadn't seen the guy smile in ages. It was nice.

"That's a perfect idea. He can jump with me into battle! I never even thought about having him with me when we fight." Soldier gleefully but carefully clipped the end of Bites' teeth onto his belt so that it hung off his uniform. He looked down at his pet, who, despite being dead, seemed to be looking up at him with his same, adorable little eyes. 

Soldier couldn't help but choke up. He turned to Engineer, laughing as he teared up. "Thank you, Dell." He embraced him, squeezing him tightly. 

Engie returned his hug with a laugh of his own, his own smile hurting his cheeks. "You're welcome, hun. I'm relieved to see ya smile again. I missed it." 

Soldier nuzzled the side of his neck lovingly as he gave his cheek a kiss. "You've been a real help to me. I..I don't know how to repay you." He said, hiding his face in his shoulder. 

"You don't have to pay me back. Just havin' you here in my arms, feeling happy, is enough." Engie assured him, kissing him lightly.

/// 

Ceasefire was over. The BLU's and RED's were once again battling each other as usual. As the RED's scurried out of spawn, Engineer began to set up his sentry near their point. As he worked, he heard a blast come from behind him, and he looked up. 

Soldier was rocketjumping through the air, but there was something different about it this time. Lt. Bites flew along with him, the rays of the morning sun catching against his fur and almost making him shine. It looked amazing, and Engie had to lower his wrench as they flew down to him. 

"Ready to win, cupcake?" Soldier asked him with a determined grin. "Because I am!" 

Engie smiled at his eagerness. "Hell yeah, I am. I see you brought along the little guy." 

"Yep, he hasn't left my side ever since I put him on." Soldier gently patted Bites' head, before moving in close to give Engie a kiss on the lips. "And it's all thanks to you." 

"Aw shucks, it was nothing." Engineer chuckled, waving him off with a hand. The two suddenly heard the familiar screams and weapon firing as the BLU's began to advance upon them. They turned to each other, both knowing what to do. 

"Give them hell for me, Solly." Engineer said, then looked down at Bites before adding, "And Bites." 

Soldier gave him a firm salute before lowering his rocketlauncher down at his feet. "Roger that!" He called, as he shot up into the air towards the other team. Engie watched him fly into battle, the proud smile never leaving his face. 

That day, Lt. Bites joined their fight to the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap i finished a story!!! WOW  
> anyway, I hope u liked this, I tried my best writing angst, since its actually pretty hard for me to do  
> Not to mention animal death 
> 
> I guess you could say this was a bit bittersweet, but they're happy, so it is a happy ending yea?  
> I hope this chapter didn't feel too rushed, I just wanted them both to find relief hfkshfjs


End file.
